I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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