dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
