I puked a lego.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
