I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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