Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
