I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
