So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
