its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
