I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
