not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
