there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize