I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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