Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
