Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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