Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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