weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
