Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
