I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
