Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
