I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
