Christians are straight up FREAKS
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
be right there i have to get my cape
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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