How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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