whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just want nice things and good sex
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
