ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
how does that bad decision feel?
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