If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
