The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
