Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
