Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
