I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
last night I used snow as a chaser
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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