This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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