How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
