she smelled like a LAN party
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
