Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
