go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
