bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is it because I queefed?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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