why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
