I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
