i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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