i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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