yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize