Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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