the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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