it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
