I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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