we have pet lesbian snakes
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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