I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
