So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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