Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
