'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
