More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
