jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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