He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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