I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
