Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you didnt know i had herpes?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
