I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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