I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize